Portrait of A Girl..!!!

      1st DECEMBER 2014

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           It was the pleasant, cold December evening. Dino came as usual to his bar "The daddy's Bar". It was in tight alleyway of the old city, not a commercial spot though; still he was earning good money. Dino asked one of his managers "What's the scene in Dwarkesh, Has the architecture Mathur called yet." Manager just nodded, he took that expression as "no." Dwarkesh was the place where he was starting his second venture of "The daddy's Bar". He was a happy man with family to love. But one thing that was making his business progress and also his mind was the kind of people visiting his Bar. They were all related to creative fields, Architect, Writers, Painters, Philosopher, some were famous personalities. They find the solace and solitude in his bar's environment. There was always a live music band playing in background.

              One of his regular customers was Ravi, he was famous Painter. They were good friends. They met in the art gallery where Ravi's Paintings were displayed in exhibition for all the viewers. Dino had a very good photographic memory; he remembered all the paintings that he saw. One particular painting of Ravi's that he liked the most was the painting of a girl, elongated facial features, loose auburn hair which was giving shadow effect to her face, the most intriguing part was the way she looked out of the canvas in an evasive but self-aware and penetrating manner, salute to the delicate rendering of textures and details of her whole body.

       That day also Ravi came after almost a gap of a month, but his countenance was inscrutable. He ordered his daily regular cognac. Dino got up and looked in direction of Ravi. He was thinking of having small talk with his buddy but suddenly he saw a girl at Ravi's table. She wore blue jeans, White cardigan and blue scarf was around her neck. He hesitated to go to Ravi's table. After sometime he saw that they were getting cozy, so he decided to stay back. And local John Mayer was singing “Your body is wonderland”. 

       Seating at his usual corner chair at his bar and appreciating the music that band was playing he recalled their meeting where Ravi talked openly about his personal life. They always talked about Paintings, music and other generic topics but first time that day Dino heard very personal confession from his friend. It was about a Girl. Ravi met that girl and his whole life changed. That girl was quite apposite of his nature. "She is a wild and blunt." Ravi began "In our first meeting what she said to me, you know, she told me, nowadays your paintings are lacking the human touch and soul." Dino said to himself "What an appropriate comment!!" Because Dino also felt the same thing but he was searching for the right moment to say. Ravi continued "Dino, I really don't know what I thought at that time I just said to her that because nowadays I couldn't find a single pure human soul who can inspire me so." She continued "You don't need to find them, they are always around us, you just need to have an eye for that, and I am again saying the same thing but in different way, you are missing an 'Eye' sir." Ravi said to her "Please, don't call me sir, we are of the same age." She replied smilingly "how come you know my age Ravi?", and they both laughed. Dino recalled Ravi's exact reaction to that moment "Man!!! It has been long time since I had witnessed such a heartfelt innocent smile. Instantly she captured my Imagination." Ravi asked her "Are you a writer?" Smiling and extending her hand she said "Friends?" Ravi also extended his hand towards her and said "why not?" Ravi opened his mouth to say, but realizing that she had not replied to his last question she said "Yeah, I am Vinnie, a professional hacker and not a writer." There were people around him at that time so he couldn't continue his conversation. She left the gallery in a hurry.

       With memory of their conversation Dino also remembered the confused state of Ravi, what that Girl said about Ravi was true, Ravi also knew that. He himself told Dino "I am dying man, I lost vision of painter." Dino could feel pain in Ravi's voice. That time Ravi told him "When you as viewer see the painting, you are seeing it through our eyes, but to make them real on canvas we as painter need to see through it. We need to feel that atmosphere with all the real emotions, painting is like seeing dream. Painter needs to live their life in that moment. And I think that girl knew what I am missing."

        Manger said "Sir, call from Mathur." Dino went to cabin, small room at the back of the Bar to receive the call. Almost after an hour he came to Bar and saw that the Girl was crying, might be. He couldn't see her face; she had kept her head on Ravi's shoulder. Ravi was caressing her like child who was frightened of something. Suddenly she got up and without looking at Ravi she left. While getting out of the bar Dino saw her face, she was Vinnie, a Portrait Girl. He went to Ravi's table and asked "She is your muse, right?" Ravi said without looking at Dino "She was, but  ..."

         Suddenly a sound came and they all rushed in the direction of the Sound.

7th August 2014 -5th November 2014

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        Ravi thought "Can someone be that blunt and open about their opinion?" That girl was amazing. Even If I had an "eye" like what she had said it wouldn't be possible for me to find the soul like her. She came like wind, left like wind, just breezing through my life."

        That time Ravi never had imagined that she would come back looking for him in his studio just three days after their first meeting. When she came that day she wore a peach color mid length skirt, white embellished blouse and there was emerald bracelet on her left wrist. They hugged each other like an old friend. Ravi said surprisingly   "I thought you would never come." She just looked at him as if he had said some senseless thing. 

        Ravi asked her about her hasty exit three days before. She replied "Sorry, actually that day I was having a flight for Delhi. There was some office work so couldn't stay for longer." Ravi offered her a coffee. While sipping coffee they talked about Vinnie's profession. She was working in cyber-crime department and her reputation as hacker was well known to the government.

       There was silence for some minutes, they were stealing glances at each other. Suddenly a thought came to Ravi's mind and he said to Vinnie "why don’t you sit there I will make a portrait of you." With surprised look on her face she said "What do you mean by 'sit there'?" Ravi explained her that she needs to sit still for some time. She agreed and sat. Ravi did not instruct her how to sit or look. The way she posed herself for a picture was perfect. Initially she couldn't sit still as it was not in her nature.

        But after some time whole studio was still only moving things were Ravi's hands and two minds. While making painting of her, he was getting acquainted with woman soul. Though they were not looking at each other, they were aware of what was going on in each other’s mind. After almost three hours he finished the painting. 

          Touching her shoulder in hesitance and smiling he said "It’s done, you can get up now." He looked at her and there was hint of tear in her eyes. Ravi opened his mouth to say something...suddenly she touched his lips with hers and whole studio stood still for some time. Ravi thought "I was nothing and I was everything for that moment." Smile on her face, tears in her eyes expressed many things that couldn't be expressed in words. She had found "better her" with him and Ravi had found his "lost vision".

       "The Portrait of Girl" still took another month to come up with minute details. And finished painting was one of his masterpieces, only viewer who saw that painting was Dino and Vinnie.

         Vinnie was the busy person. She was having a life outside of Ravi, not so clingy which Ravi always feared about the Girls. She did not expect anything from him like messaging, calling, meeting her in coffee shop etc. When she felt like meeting Ravi, she directly came unannounced in his studio. If there were other people around him she used to leave unnoticed. One day she called him "Ravi, can we meet at my place?" Ravi was surprised by her call. It was the first time she called for something.

         When he reached at Vinnie's place, he was expecting her Parents and there was only Vinnie. They greeted each other with warm hug. "What's in that Parcel, some painting?" Vinnie inquired.  "Yes, for you." With child's curiosity she opened the parcel. Painting was of starry night and of small girl wearing red frock was looking at stars. She kept looking at that picture.

                                                    Small Girl in Red frock,

                                                    Starting her hearty talk,

                                                With whom? Ohh with moon,

                                         Asking for her mom, please come soon.

                                                     Are you there mama?
                                       Today, I played role of an Angel in Drama
                                          That time, I thought I was with you
                                            I saw in your eyes a rainbow hue

                                              Moon, send my mama, please,
                            "Yes, dear I am there, in your heart." whispered the breeze.
                                      Looking at moon, she stood in starry night,
                                      Asked the breeze, mama, are you alright?
                                           Ohh dear, go sleep, I am Okay,
                                    Don't worry mama, meet me another day!!!

                                            Girl in Red frock slept peacefully 
                              Breeze from open window stroked her hair kindly
                             In dream, felt the touch of mama's hand, she smiled
                            Now that Girl is no more child, she is blunt and wild!!!!

She kept looking at painting as if she had found something that she had lost. Ravi broke her reverie and asked "Are you here Vinnie?"  She said "huhh..Ravi..It is very beautiful painting." He asked her "Really?" Looking at her face he knew the answer.

       Her phone rang and she talked with the guy while doing some stuff on laptop. There was some problem at cyber cell, she instructed that guy with an authoritative voice and ended the call. "Sorry for that, some issue at office that already took my 7 days. That's why I called you here as I couldn't come to studio." Ravi said waving his hand in air "Ohh it is OK, you look tired." "Yeah same work ended up working 18 hrs. a day." He said in soft voice "Take care of your health, I know you like your work but.." She smiled and asked "What you want to eat?" He replied "Anything that you want" She said going to kitchen "I am planning to make pasta." He sat in one of the chairs in kitchen and asked "You like cooking?" "Yes, its stress-buster for me after work and my dad liked to eat food cooked by me so you can say that." "Where is your family?" She contemplated at first. She didn't want to lie, she began "her half-truth" with her usual blunt and open way.

         "Ohh..we are very strange family. My dad and I live here but most of the time he is out of country. I don't know exactly what he does for living but since my childhood days he told me he is in some export import business. This abode of ours is I think must be 26th place where we lived. We always changed the home. Dad used to explain me that it’s his company's policy. I do not remember my mom, she died at the time of my birth. She was French-woman that is all about my family." Ravi wanted to ask more about her dad, the way she was describing him it intrigued him. But he thought it was better if she told him voluntarily. 

          Pressing the pasta, she said "Pasta is perfectly al dente, it will be ready in 5 minutes now." Ravi came behind her and said "You are fearless girl. Means the way you talk about family, the way you criticize me in our first meeting, the way you took the lead of the situation when we kissed each other. You are fearless girl." Without acknowledging his comments about her she said "Go outside, we will dine at terrace. Please arrange plates and there is bottle of wine in fridge." Ravi obeyed her order.

        While eating Ravi said to her “why didn't you reply to my last comments?” She said "You want answer for that? Fearless, what a word!! That you have used to describe me." She laughed cynically. First time he had seen her like that. 

             She had begun it, with soliloquy "Do you know, what’s the meaning of “being fearless”?  For darkness it's absence of light you can say that, right??  but only for physical world. You can't say same for emotions. You understand what I am saying? Fearless is not absence of fear. Fearless means acting courageously despite the fact that things that makes you scared are still there in your mind, the things that scared you most always reminds you that you are coward. So one day your mind decides to be a fearless to get away from "cowardice you", and that moment "fearless you" born. Every person become fearless when something important of their life is being taken away from them. They need to fight for it despite of the fear for "that thing" in mind. Fearless means expressing your love despite the fact that other might not love you. Fearless means loving your dad despite the fact that he is ethically wrong, Fearless means talking with your mom despite the fact that she is far away from you. Fearless means weeping in your bed when there is none to wipe your tears. Fearless means even if you are completely broken still showing that hearty smile on your face. If that's what you called fearless then I am a fearless girl." She said this louder stressing a word fearless. Realizing what she had said "Ohhh don't pay attention to me, there are lots of people who are fearless like me."

         There was so much anguish inside her that Ravi was not aware of. He wants to know more about her. He said firmly "Talk with me if you trust and love me."  "Ohh don't use these words so casually Ravi." Ignoring her he asked her “why you said fearless means expressing your love despite the fact that other might not love you." She gave startled look and said “Ohh you remember my every word."  "Yeah because I haven't listened them casually."  She stared at Ravi's face. Only she knew why she said "Don't use word casually ". To even utter a word "love" to Ravi, it took lot of time and thought. Her journey from 'her' to ' better her' was difficult part of her life. She knew he meant it, but sometime she had habit of imagining the glimpse of past that make her look like short tempered. Realizing her mistake she said "Sorry..actually I.." she stopped searching helplessly for words.

          Looking at Ravi's curious yet little angry face she continued "Ohh that was about a Girl who was helplessly in love with famous man" Ravi said forgetting his anger "That girl was you." She smiled and said "I saw you every weekend." Ravi was startled to hear that. She explained to him everything. She joined the workshop for amateur painters and Ravi was their mentor. And that was the time when she got acquainted with him and his style of painting, Vinnie was confused about her feelings about him. She never believed that such thing could happen with her. She said smiling at Ravi "Initially, I thought it was just “liking”. Then every waking moment, I was only thinking about you, as if you are inseparable part of my life. I thought it will pass by the time. Every time I denied stubbornly it’s not for me. I am not worthy of you. I even made futile attempt so that you will notice me. And one day my fearless mind decided that I should tell you about my feelings because that time I couldn't take it more. Ravi interrupted her "couldn't take it more?" On that she replied "Ohh..means I was searching for an answer to my feelings. I was discovering my own meaning of "Love". I couldn't take that journey alone. Either I should end the journey with memory of you engraved on my heart or I should continue the journey with you." She smiled looking at Ravi "Fortunately I am still continuing my journey with you which I had never thought would be possible." She continued "I know the fact that you might not love me, still I came to studio just to express my love. The love, for which I have waited for a year to know it is indeed a love. It is responsibility to love someone. I thought that time if you are not feeling the same what I feel for you then I might be putting you in awkward situation. But I know what I feel for you is such a pure sacred emotion, I can't feel same for any other person in my lifetime. Then that special person deserves to know what I feel." Ravi replied to her "What if I was not feeling what you were expecting from me?" She said "Ohh you still not understand the meaning of my fearlessness, "What if", I will be same Vinnie what was she before meeting you..fearless.. Only difference would be she had got rid of one fear of expressing her love to a person who was her "core being". I don't want to say like some girls might say desperately, you complete me and blah blah, but I am quite capable and independent woman. I will not need any man to validate my existence."  Ravi interrupted her "Ohh is it?" Then she said smilingly "You are blessing in my life Ravi and you make me even better person because you love me." He said teasingly "even better person, hmm..." and they both laughed.

            They both cleaned the kitchen together talking about Ravi's family. Suddenly Ravi said "Ohh, I forgot to tell you, I am going to Netherlands tomorrow. I got an Invitation for Van Gogh festival." She asked when he will be back. He said "In last week of November. I should leave now. I have to pack my bags." Vinnie said "Enjoy your stay there and keep in touch." Ravi said teasingly "Ohh.."Keep in touch" part will apply for me only." She replied "That is not the thing, I really don't want to disturb you and I already told you there was work in cyber cell..." Interrupting her in midway and keeping hand on his heart he said "Do you think I will care for such things, even if I couldn't see you for some days I know you will be always here in my heart."

27th November 2014.

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          Call from Ravi made Vinnie happy. She was planning to receive him on airport to give him surprise. She inquired about flight timing; it was going to arrive at 6.30 PM. That day she left cyber cell early. When she was getting out of lift on her floor she heard the phone ring. She knew who was calling because only one person knew that number. Till the time she reached towards phone it stopped ringing. She called back but no one was replying from other side. She took shower and prepared herself for visit. She booked the table in one of Ravi's favorite restaurant. Her cellphone rang, she knew it was call from cyber cell as it was phone with untraceable SIM and only few people working in cyber-crime department knew about the number. She promised them to be back at 12.30 AM at cyber cell. They were on verge of breaking long going black money scam and Vinnie was leader. Her presence was required there.

           While driving to Airport she was in happy mood. When she reached Airport that time she came to know that Ravi's flight was delayed for 3 hours. She cursed herself, her planning was going to be in vain. As always she thought calmly. She decided to go back to cyber cell, it was 30 minutes’ drive from Airport. She reached her handbag to take cellphone, and then she realized that she had forgotten the untraceable cellphone. Angrily she said to herself "What a careless act vinnie!!!." She decided to go back to department and she could ask any assistant to bring back her cell phone there.

          At the same time, Mr. Pandit , Vinnie's father was coming out of Airport. There were two African people with him. Vinnie saw them at airport. She contemplated at first whether she should meet her father or not. But she was seeing him after seven months. She decided to breach their protocol. Her father did not like meeting Vinnie with his coworker. Seeing her on Airport Mr. Pandit said "Vinnie, I am trying to..." and suddenly he realized the presence of his colleagues. He talked with them for a minute and said good bye, Then he turned to Vinnie and said "I was calling you , where were you?" Vinnie replied "Is there any problem dad?" He was panicked and said "Let’s go now." Vinnie replied "I am going to office," He said with authority "You are coming with me." "No dad, I am not coming unless you tell me the reason of your call and looking at you there seems to be a big problem." Mr. Pandit knew how stubborn Vinnie was. They were in Parking and suddenly a man came. He wore a black mask and gun was in his hand. He pointed the gun at Vinnie and asked her to come with him. Mr. Pandit knew who the man was. Suddenly from nowhere he produced the Gun and pointed in direction of the man. He indicated by his hand to take gun away from her head. But that man came with mission he fired at Mr. Pandit. Vinnie Screamed but only whisper came as another man came from behind and pressed his hand tightly on her mouth.

27th November to 1st December..

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        When she woke up, she didn't know where she was. There was no one in the room. Nothing, only bed and one jug filled with water. Though window was half opened. If she was hostage, then why would someone keep window open. She got up and straightened herself. She was worried about her father. Suddenly door opened and two men came in. One was holding a sandwich wrapped in foil, and another man with stone cold eyes looking at her said "You must be hungry Vinnie?" She just looked at that man with hatred. He asked another man to go. He said "Look Vinnie, my company is behind you. We don't want our name to be listed in black money scam. We need your help there. You keep doing whatever you are doing. We don't want any harm to you." Vinnie calm and composed in that situation asked the man "What happened to my dad?" The man laughed "You care for that scumbag." Vinnie's eyes filled with an anger she persistently asked stressing every word "What happened to my dad?" The man said with laughing "You are stubborn like me, hmmm." Vinnie just looked at that man, her biological father, King of world of Drugs. That man continued "If you are clever girl, then think on what I am saying. Even if you don't consider me as your father, you can’t deny the fact you are my daughter. I care for you. My partner in business wanted to kill you. I intervened in between. So I am giving you a proposal you can’t deny. You can expose other people but not us. In return you are free girl. If you are not accepting what I am saying, then your life is in danger. Then I can’t help you. Eat something and I will return again to hear from you. And one more thing, we also have very expert hackers and spies so don't think much about how we got your information" and then that man left. In his 'world' his name was Panther.

        8 years ago Vinnie found out that Mr. Pandit was not her real father. And He was working for her real father. When she was born that time there was Interpol summons against Panther and as her mother was no more so he forced Pandit to take the Vinnie with him. That time Pandit was the only man in his "World" who he thought would take care of Vinnie. She was just one day old. Initially Pandit was not aware about the kind of business they were doing. When he smelled the danger he decided to quit but he knew so many gory details that it was not possible for him. He was asset to them. He was known as financial man. After spending few days with baby Vinnie, he told Panther that he will continue his involvement with company but Panther will not interfere with Vinnie's life. Without any blood relationship Pandit had loved Vinnie. Once Vinnie asked Pandit "You had other options that time." He said to her "When I took you in my arm and you smiled at me, that time I thought only of you, my little bundle of joy " She asked "Why are you still working for that man? Whatever you are doing dad is ethically wrong." Mr. Pandit replied "Still working...to save you from your past."

           Cool breeze came from half opened window. Vinnie looked outside. It was dark. She thought "You cannot change what happened in the past but with your present your past gets redefined every time." She needs to think calmly. 

           Next day, Panther came. She said "I need to go to cyber cell, otherwise I can’t help you." Panther said "We will provide all the things that you need, you have to work from here." Vinnie replied looking outside of window "Then get ready for Jail, there are people in cyber cell they know as much as I do, sooner or later they will figure out the ways and your company will be exposed. Only option for you is to let me go." Panther said "Don't be so smart Miss Vinnie, you don't know with whom you are playing." Without replying she kept looking outside of window. Panther kept talking and she kept ignoring. After all futile attempt to convince her he said "Ok. But keep in mind if you play smart, you know the price for it."

             With blind fold they dropped her near the cyber cell. When she walked in atmosphere in cell was not encouraging. Mr. Singh her mentor and Chief of cyber cell asked Vinnie to come to his cabin. He got the news of Airport murder attempt and he knew that man was Vinnie's father. But as per crime department they wanted it to be kept as secret until the black money scam case ended with result. First thing Vinnie asked to Mr. Singh was about her father. He said "He is in strict observation of doctors with tight security around him, but there are chances of his recovery" Vinnie explained everything to him about the last night. He knew about Vinnie's past. He was as close as Vinnie's father. Vinnie told him what she had planned. He knew what she had decided was best for her and cyber cell. Suddenly remembering something he said "Ravi came looking for you today, I told him that we were also looking for you." She said "Yeah, I have made my life complicated, could you pass him a message that I am back and busy with work. He will understand that. I don't think I will be able to talk with him, hiding all those things from him is just impossible for me." "Don't worry Vinnie, Focus on job at hand."

        She called the meeting of her team and apologized for her behavior. She said "Sorry guys, some personal problem and it is resolved now and we are good to go, come on, let’s crack the code." Vinnie and team worked for continuous three days. Finally, the team came up with list of all the people with black money. She handed the detailed list to Mr. Singh. She requested him to not publish the name for next three hours, she needed that three hours. Mr. Singh was worried for her. He requested her to take some security with her. She agreed to that, first thing she did after coming out of cyber cell was to Visit her father. She saw him in ICU, her father was lying there because of her.

      She called Ravi and they decided to meet at "The Daddy's Bar." She prepared her mind for Ravi's visit. There were so many things in her mind. She betrayed Ravi's trust by not telling him truth about her past. She was guilty of her dad's current state. She had lost confidence. When she saw Ravi at bar, she started shivering with unknown fear. She sat beside him not looking at his face. Ravi said “You look terrible.” When Vinnie looked at him all the suppressed emotion came out, she started to tremble. Ravi embraced her warmly and asked "What happened?" He kept caressing her for some time, He knew she need some time. She wiped her tears and said "Sorry Ravi, I am not good for you." Ravi interrupted her and said “That is for me to decide." She said "Please, let me complete and then decide." she continued "I lied to you Ravi, about my past." She explained him everything about her past and current situation of Mr. Pandit. Ravi was shocked to hear that but at the same time he fell in love with fearless Vinnie again. She said looking at him "Ravi, I am wreck now. I don't know how to handle this. I thought my journey with you will be smooth sailing... but it's not that. Being in love and being loved are two different things. You are responsible for other person’s happiness and I don't think I could do that. I might lose my dad and I don't want that to happen to you. It is better for you to come out of this. I am not worthy of your life. Please do this for me. Try hard to forget me." He said to her "Calm down Vinnie. I am with you for all your life. You are under lot of pressure now. Just go home and sleep well." She said frantically "You don't understand; I don't want to lose you." Ravi said "Same, I also don't want to lose you. I will come with you now. You need rest dear. Let’s go." She looked at him as if he was the only thing that remained in the world that can save her form her misery and at the same time she did not want him to suffer because of her. He hugged her tightly and said "Go outside." She left Ravi without looking at him. When Dino inquired about her to Ravi, they all ran towards that frightening sound.

            What Dino saw was "The Portrait girl" covered in blood. Despite of the security someone had shot her. That someone was Panther's business partner. Ambulance came and her security personnel took her in hospital.

           When they reached hospital, Ravi was completely shattered. He said to Dino "You were asking me about whether she was my muse..right?" Dino said "Yes..when you were telling me that time..." He shivered remembering the sound. Ravi said "She was my muse, but now she is my life."

14th February 2015

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         Vinnie was in hospital for almost three months. She was in comma for first two weeks. Ravi took care of her like a child. When they reached, their new home, she was surprised to see her dad welcoming her. He too recovered from injury. When she entered the home she saw "Portrait of a Girl" was on wall. She looked at Ravi and they both smiled looking at each other. It was a portrait that gave meaning to their life. Only they knew the meaning of that Portrait...Portrait of a Girl.